Judgement - Friend or Foe?
We all make judgements every day - it would be difficult to imagine a world where we didn't. Indeed, being of 'sound judgement' is seen as an attribute and often indicates a rational, clear-thinking individual.
If we judge a person, we are, by definition, categorising them somehow, in to what he or she is, or is not. Again, this is a natural process in many ways. In childhood and in our day-to-day lives we are constantly assessing the world around us...is this person trustworthy? Do I believe them? Does that person like me? Is she Slytherin or Gryffindor?
Dangers, lurk within, however. Constantly judging whether someone or a situation we find ourselves in is good or bad can blind us to acceptance and also to an appreciation that the world is rarely as binary as 'all good' and 'all bad.'
If we become judgemental of others, what then, is the impact on us? Often we judge ourselves by standards to which we wouldn't necessarily hold others. How many times have you caught yourself making excuses and justifications for your friends when you would find it much harder to forgive yourself?
The pain of being judged can feel like a constant, unrelenting pressure, or it can feel like a lighting bolt hitting you. It is inevitably more painful when it taps in to one of our insecurities, like another voice echoing your own fears of being weak, bad, unloved, alone, or mad.
Of prime importance in counselling, is the notion of being non-judgemental. This requires dumping preconceived ideas and assumptions about another human being, ditching the sorting hat and seeing the whole, wonderful individual in front of you. It fosters self-acceptance and a space within which clients feel able to explore their most painful fears, thoughts and emotions.
If you feel that you would like help in exploring your inner self-critic or any anxiety you feel in your relationships with others, why not arrange to meet up for a initial, free 30 minute consultation?
I work from a counselling practice in Godalming and Guildford, and have daytime and evening appointments available.